Will Preston


A full bottle of Jager a look at the polls

by on Apr.20, 2010, under Opinion

I love shopping online, me. Speacial offer at Tesco now means I have 3 bottles of wine and a big bottle of Jager without having to concern myself with touching the pavement with my feet. It’s only a matter of time before a rescue team arrive to find myself in an incredibly obese state reeking of cheap plonk and making a nest out of Jaffa Cake wrappers. That’s not before the canvassers wear away the front door with repeated knockings (and even then, it’s a question of “who’s vote” rather than “you need help”).

Nothing against canvassers, but it is that time again. Yes, the time has come to vote which flavour government do you want. Will it be Traditional Blue, Tangy Red or Mild Yellow (yellow is a flavour). And of course, all of these flavours come int he form of a suit with a side parting. A side parting sitting atop some policies. They could be good policies, they could be bad policies, they could be policies to outlaw flat caps on anyone under 40 from outside Yorkshire. I only know some of the policies, but then you pretty much go with the nature of the party. In the blue corner clenching on to the 1950’s is the Conservatives; their claim to fame being Maggie Thatcher (there was some other stuff too, but it’s nearly midnight). Pacing indecisively in the red corner is the Labour party; the one Tony Blair was in. At this point you enter in your opinion of Tony Blair.

And then we have the potential champion, The Liberal Democrats (or Lib Dem if you’re in a hurry). Recently there’s been a hoo ha about Labour being terrible and people looking to vote conservative. But even more recently, the Lib Dem’s support has risen to a point never before seen by the Cleggies. It’s rather interesting to watch if, instead of viewing it as an election, you picture it as a sports underdog film. I’ve gone as far as playing a sport movie montage theme during party political broadcasts. It’s that or bored by half promises and stilted statements. I’m casting my vote to whoever is likely to win against the Tories, because I don’t want them in. This being solely on the point that David is a boring name. At the moment it’s Lib Dem who’s box I’m stamping, but there’s something overwhelmingly tedious about all of this. Either that or the bigger picture is so big that my neck can’t bend back all the way to appreciate its awe.

Anyhoo, I’m back to the bottle. First one to lower drinking tax gets my vote. Except BNP. All you will get is my movement through your letterbox. If no one here’s from me again, chase up any orders I made with Tesco and break down my door before I die of gluttony. And don’t take any embarrassing pictures!

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Nothing but shockingly bad comedy

by on Nov.04, 2009, under Opinion

So all over Facebook, BBC and the pubs of my hometown, loyal fans of ‘Mock The Week’ are bleating about the departure of one trick pony, Frankie Boyle. Yes, it seems that his blunt humour will be sorely missed by fans of the show, but is it really a loss? Boyle’s humour was witless shock humour with jabs at Kerry Katona mixed in for unfunny combinations, but yet he got easy laughs. Of course one of the basis’s of comedy is dancing around subjects that most people would awkwardly cough at, but a good comedian works on presenting their funny take on any subject.

I myself have attempted stand up comedy at a comedy club before, and I make no joke when I tell you it’s a hard art to master. Finding the right subjects to mock and getting a room full of people to laugh at your twisted ideas seems like an almost impossible task. But no matter how long and hard you construct that perfect surreal scenario of satire of spoken monologue that is witty, engaging and appealing to an audience, it’s a shot to the soul to see low brow and frankly (no pun intended)  witless comedians making jokes about perennial subjects that sound all to similar to material that Viz magazine used the previous month. Boyle is more like a modern day Jim Davidson; Shocking, devil may care attitude and highly appealing to people to people who consider Nuts magazine to be a peak of culture.

It’s not the shock humour I’m fighting at; it’s the lazy presentation. If you want to see a stand up do shock humour that is witty whilst hitting the nail, I have a list for you: –

Bill Hicks
George Carlin
Doug Stanhope
Stewart Lee

There are many others, but the fun of exploring entertainment is making the journey yourself. YouTube those names and work your way to a better understanding of what makes good stand up material.

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